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There are a number of competing theories about the origin of the AIDS, all of which have significant background support and a great number of faithful believers. We’re not here to pass judgment or tell you which ones are right or wrong, but we will share with you some of the more prominent theories about where the AIDS came from.
1 – Having sex with monkeys. It wasn’t a monkey disease that passed to humans, but rather a disease CREATED by the union of man and monkey, which is a sin, in case you didn’t already know that what you did was wrong.
2 – The CIA invented it in a laboratory and released it on purpose to subvert the black man. It was a noble plan, but the political powers that be didn’t account for the likelihood that their daughters would favor the chocolate as they eventually did, even unto their own demises.
3 – It was invented in the deepest primordial Stu of your bachelor uncle’s backside (your uncle Stu) when he earned a couple extra bucks to get money to buy his illegal drugs.
4 – When Neil Armstrong mixed powdered Tang with his own urine under the heat of the hot New Mexico sun while faking the moon landing, the heat was so great that the AIDS spontaneously generated right there in his cup, eventually killing him. It’s easy to understand the basis for this theory, since Neil Armstrong is indeed dead, which is recognized by many as proof positive.
5 – Sharing needles causes a mixing of human blood never intended. This mixture equals AIDS in many cases.
6 – The choice to accept blood transfusions, commonly rejected by many Christian sects, created the AIDS virus. Not just in one instance, but in many, and by some estimations, every instance.
7 – It is God’s own curse against the wickedness of modern man. Before man became modern, there was no the AIDS, so this is a very easy theory to endorse.
But as to how the AIDS was invented, or by whom, it is entirely possible that we will never know, no matter how many questions we ask or how many HIV insurgents we put to the glorious waterboarding hole. For now there is no answer, and all we can do is take steps to make sure we don’t join the ranks of those paying higher insurance premiums, suffering modestly shortened lifespans and inability to be honest with potential sexual partners.